


In A Flash Of Blue

by murpl



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Abandonment, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Awkward Flirting, Confessions, Everyone Is Gay, Explicit Language, Friends to Lovers, Genji Shimada is a Little Shit, Hanzo carries a flask everywhere for a reason, M/M, Magical Tattoos, No excuses, Pining, Protective Genji Shimada, Tattoos, This is my first fic don't hate me please, just a lil, kind of
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-15
Updated: 2018-06-26
Packaged: 2019-04-23 04:16:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,952
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14324370
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/murpl/pseuds/murpl
Summary: Hanzo awakes after a rough night to find that his spirits are no longer behaving. Nor are his tattoos still. And a certain cowboy isn't helping.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time writing fanfiction and I am super excited to see how it will unfold! So far I have a basic outline of events mapped out, and I don't plan on this being too long of a fic but I am hoping to get out a chapter every week until I get it finished! I got the idea from @starslikeflowers (check them out) and I hope you guys like it! You can check me out on Tumblr @murpl!

“What was it the Americans would say when dealing business? Ah, yes. The apple does not fall very far from the tree. What would you say?” The man turned to Hanzo, body a phantom of black smoke, shifting, changing, his face did not change. Hanzo wanted the face to change. Needed it to change. He could not bare to see it anymore. And this man, no, he was no man he was a monster, he knew. And from what Hanzo could tell by the poorly hidden grin, he was enjoying it, too. 

Hanzo grimaced, but growled angrily in response. “I am nothing like you. I never will be.”

“Oh? Well I am a monster, is that not what you believe? It wasn’t long ago that you used the same word to describe yourself, was it? Or what about arrogant, foolish, manipulative, a person of betrayal? You are just like me. You always have been. You always will be. Do not let your arrogance allow you to think any better of yourself.” The man’s voice echoed through Hanzo’s skull, painful. Too familiar, too much.

“I WILL NEVER BE LIKE YOU.” Hanzo was furious. But the guilt that was consuming him was undeniable. He still felt like a monster no matter how forcefully he denied it.

“Take a look in the mirror. I requested his death, you executed him. In fact, it seems to me that you are the monster. You were the one with his blood on your hands were you not?” Hanzo could see the blood now, sticking between his fingers, a sickening warmth radiating off of the deeply saturated liquid as it dried and clotted on his hands. “You were the one who murdered your brother. You were the one who slaughtered your own blood. Your own kin. In fact, it would be an upgrade for you to be me. You are worse than me. You are worse than the filth on the side of the streets, waiting to be accepted into a lifetime in a jail cell.”

Suddenly, the mirror was there, in front of him. That face. That face was his? He ran his hands down his face. No it wasn’t his. He had not asked for Genji to die. This wasn’t him. He wasn’t that monster. He couldn’t be like him. He couldn’t. He was. He was worse.

Hanzo shot up in bed, drenched in a cold sweat, the blankets around him damp, clothes sticking tightly to his body. Electricity shot through him, drumming as quickly as his panicked heartbeat. He had to check. He was no monster. He wasn’t one of his clan’s elders. He was Hanzo Shimada. He had a healthy relationship with his brother, and he was no monster. He was no monster.

He made a dash to the bathroom, quickly telling Athena to utilize her ability to start the lights as he turned towards the mirror. It was him. He heaved out a breathy sigh as he ran his hands down his face. His eyes landed on his wrist. And he froze. Bare skin. His moment of relief was quickly replaced with a feeling of anxious dread. His dragons. Had the spirits left him?

His eyes trailed over both his arms. Bare. Bare. Still bare. How? He pulled his sweat soaked shirt from his body. No. They weren’t there. His tattoos were gone. They were completely gone.

Suddenly, as if the gods had decided to answer his questions, a crack rang through the room. The crack of thunder. A bright light was emitted from his back, electricity still pulsing through him. Was it his dragons? Hesitantly, Hanzo turned to find their reflection. Tattoos squirming around the back of his neck, and trailing down his back in curves, a blue static flashing from their lines. What?

A loud slam was heard from outside his bathroom, doors quickly opening and closing as his brother, Genji, threw himself into the room. Bright flashes of green light were visible from between the crevices in his armor. “We need to see Angela. Now.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hanzo learns about his condition.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi yeah so life happened and updates will be completely sporadic. My grandpa passed away recently and I have come to find myself confused with my identity so there's that. And this chapter was actually finished months ago but I restarted it a few times and the outcome has actually been a lot better than my original plan, so, enough excuses from me, enjoy!

They spent hours in the medbay. Angela had been rapidly flipping through piles upon piles of documents, articles, myths, legends, and whatever was perceived as relating to the topic of the two brother’s tattoos. According to them, no detail could be overlooked. Genji--in the heat of the rising uneasiness emerging from his strange new condition--spent his time in a state of attempted meditation, light scintillating in a rapid pace from underneath his armor. Between the man’s uncomfortable squirming and sporadic nervous shaking, Angela’s best guess was that the dragons movements were reactions to the man’s emotions. Hanzo was quick to disagree. But it was hard to argue when his spurt of nervous anger brought upon him another wave of static and movement. If he was being completely honest with himself, it made sense. And in fact, that for him was the problem. 

What if he were to get caught during a mission? Kept as hostage, interrogated? What would he do then? Every emotion out for the world to see. It hadn’t taken long for Angela to see. How long would it take Talon? Not long enough.

He couldn’t become a liability. He had trained his entire life to not become a source of problems.

And oh god… if his teammates were to hear about this? If they began to understand his dragons? The embarrassment. The shame. Surely, he would just end himself and get it over with. 

His anxiety combined with the fatigue that came with deprivation of sleep, created a toxic battle that he did not believe he would win if he was to stay in the medbay. The buzz of electricity thrumming up his spine certainly was of no help.

He had decided that the only way he would be able to find a moment of peace during the stress of his new condition, would be from the advice of Genji’s mentor, Zenyatta. 

Hanzo had begun to make his way to the monk’s room, beginning a route through a quick shortcut through the halls as to avoid as many people as possible. Only to be stopped by a large gloved hand, falling on his naked shoulder with more emotional weight than any physical thing should be able to hold. This was the last person he wanted to see right now.

“Howdy Han, what’ve you been up to all mornin? Didn’t want to come and see me?”

Damned cowboy.

“I was sleeping in, I apologize for my absence.” Hanzo said stiffly, not sparing a single glance for the gunslinger beginning to follow him.

“Woah there, don’t get all prickly on me now!” Jesse began, picking up his pace to force himself in front of the archer, “I was just teasing, you’re kinda famous for having a schedule that you stick to. No exceptions, ya know? I tried to check in on you but the door to your room was just open and you weren’t there so I assumed you had something to do.”

Immediately, a flood of static rushed through Hanzo’s arm. That was a terrible lie. He had to get out of there before his nerves got the best of him.

“I’m sorry, I needed to- I cannot explain right now Jesse, I have somewhere to go. We will talk about this later.” Hanzo’s nervous energy was beginning to spiral into his arm, it seemed his dragons were indeed linked to his emotions. He picked up his pace, guiding himself around the offending cowboy.

“Wha- where would you need to be going? We’re like sitting ducks here on base. There ain’t nowhere to go!” Jesse frowned, spurs jingling louder as he sped up his pace to match the other man’s.

“Jesse, do not push it.” Hanzo commanded in annoyance, beginning to jog across the base.

From behind him, the other man reached for his hand, grabbing it, and spinning Hanzo around to face him. The action quickly began burning through Hanzo’s remaining calm. As the archer was turned, his face no doubt burning, he was greeted with a glare. The archer paused, it wasn’t often anyone on base was given an unhappy look by Jesse, much less a glare.

“I ain’t pushing shit. Whoever you’re going to see can wait, this conversation ain’t gonna. We’re both too old to be pushing crap off our shoulders because we’re scared of our feelings. What’s up with you?”

The dragons rumbled angrily around Hanzo’s arm, slowly twisting as if in preparation for battle.

“Are you calling me a coward?” Hanzo growled, pushing his face into Jesse’s. A roar was heard from outside the base. Was it… thunder?

“I’m saying we need to talk. Answer the question Hanzo.” Jesse growled back, face going red in his own wave of aggression. The lights flickered as the dragons began to crackle angrily with static.

“Let go of me.” Rain was audible from outside. Strange. Mei should’ve notified the base if a storm was afoot.

“Are you gonna run off like you do every time you’re confronted about your emotions?” Jesse asked, raising his voice.

“Let go!” Jesse could’ve sworn he’d seen a flash of blue in Hanzo’s eyes. An electric color. Bright. Like the energy that came off of the man’s tattoo when his dragons were summoned.

“I swear to god, Hanzo just tell me what’s wrong!” Jesse furrowed his brows as Hanzo snarled.

“Nothing is wrong, and it isn’t your problem either way! Just let go!” Hanzo tugged forcefully as Jesse’s hand tightened around his own. He went for a punch, hoping it would be enough to stun Jesse into letting go. Instead, the punch was dodged and he was pulled down to the floor, pinned.

“You’re my friend you bastard! It’s just as much my problem as it is yours!” Jesse was panting heavily, struggling to keep the other man down.

“Get your stupid fucking cowboy hat out of my face!”

“Get the stupid fucking stick out of your ass!”

Hanzo made an indignant noise as he shoved his head forward, hitting it against Jesse’s. The larger man’s grip loosened and the Shimada rolled out from under him.

Jesse quickly pulled the man down as he took his first step away. “We need to talk about this Hanzo! You can’t just avoid me! I stopped seeing you at our meets, then your normal training, hell, you weren’t even showing up at meals! And when I finally got the courage to confront you, you weren’t even in your room! Don’t go telling me some shit’s none of my concern!”

Hanzo hit the ground with a huff, breath escaping him as he began his wheezing attempt at a response. “If you don’t… if you don’t want to hear me telling you to get out of my business then don’t try to pry into it!”

Jesse pushed himself to a sit, leaned against the wall and tried again, this time with a gentler approach. “Genji doesn’t want to see you hurting, Han. I don’t either. Now get on up, and we can talk about this.” Jesse reached out for the older man, preparing to pull him up so he could sit beside him before his hand was being aggressively slapped away.

“If all the communication you wish to share between us is your pitiful attempt at nosing your way into my head and my returned denials then maybe we should not communicate at all.” Hanzo snapped. That had hurt himself more than he suspected it would have, his chest aching as if he had been physically wounded by his own words. “I have somewhere to be.” Hanzo got up with a grimace, wiping sweat from his forehead and continuing to his destination with a look of pain.

When he chanced a glance back Jesse still sat, arm recoiling from where it was before, reaching out to Hanzo, and body curled. His hat rested lower than usual, completely covering the man’s eyes as if there was something there he needed to hide.  
Out of all the thoughts that could’ve come to Hanzo’s head in that moment, he was sure that thinking of the missing half of his legs was not the right one. But their removal still wasn’t as painful as the ache in his chest and the pit in his stomach. 

\---

He arrived at Zenyatta’s room 10 minutes later than he had been planning. But after his fight with Jesse he was too tired to care. When the omnic opened his door, he was greeted by the smell of fresh tea--one of Hanzo’s favorite brews--and the calming sight of Zenyatta’s usual meditation set up.

“Greetings Hanzo, I was told by Athena that you may be seeking my assistance?” The omnic led him into the room, gesturing to enter.

Hanzo nodded, tense muscles beginning to relax as he made his way in. “Yes, I believe I need guidance to deal with my more… unfortunate thoughts. As well as uh…” Hanzo paused, remembering the words shared between him and Jesse, “As well as help opening up to people and discussing my feelings.”

“It would be my pleasure to help you. A mind clouded by unfortunate thoughts is a mind of narrowed perception. ” Zenyatta sat himself down on one of the two bamboo mats laying on the floor, pouring Hanzo a cup of tea. “Now, what is it that you currently need the most help with? I understand that many of our agents deal with thoughts relating to ptsd, insomnia, and things such as body dysphoria, but I am not completely sure what you would need to put at peace. You seemed quite happy a couple weeks ago.”

“I am not quite sure how to explain it but there is something uh… something akin to body dysphoria? It- I am comfortable with my gender I am sure. My body is just um...”

“Ah, I see, and what is it about your body that seems to be bothering you? I understand you are currently identifying as a cisgender heterosexual, yes?”

Hanzo paused, sweating with the bit of nervous energy surrounding him. Surely Zenyatta would know something about the movements of Shimada family tattoos? He had heard stories of the Shambali interacting with some members of the Shimada family. Though the Shimadas that had were all gone by now, mysteriously disappearing a few months after their interaction. Everyone in the family had just assumed they were killed for leaving their family bound duties.

“Yes, it is less a problem with how my body looks and more of a problem with how it seems to be… moving.” Hanzo stopped himself, glancing at his tattoo.

“Hanzo, I was wondering, is it your tattoo that was moving in a way you found strange?” Zenyatta asked with a slight tilt to his head, curious. Hanzo nodded. “Ah! I see, well then, that seemed to be a reoccurring thing for the Shimada family! I am sure you will be fine.” The omnic said cheerily.

“Is there an existing method of prevention?”

“There is no ‘prevention’ for the movements of your dragons, however, you will learn to control them with time. As you had learned to control your emotions in the Shimada clan. Their movements feed off of your thoughts and emotions, if you are tired they are tired, if you are angry they are angry. They show this through different movements along your body. Not that they don’t have their own thoughts and opinions. You may have noticed this by now.”

The archer paused, mouth twisting into a deep frown. Another’s knowledge about its current condition could lead to disaster. What if he was to become a chore rather than a means of help during a mission? If he was captured people would be able to clearly see through his emotions. 

“Like now, they seem agitated as shown by the little flicks of their tails. The longer you live with them the better you will be able to control them. For you however this may be a bit of a problem. Not emotion wise but just uh… how would I explain this?

So, the tattoos actions have been caused by the reunition of you and your brother. You have forgiven each other and your renewing affections of brotherly love have awoken the dragons. This also means that in order to completely control them, you would need to have forgiven yourself. 

For you, this may be… quite the problem. And this could be where it gets dangerous. As time wears on, the spirits of the dragons with be able to exit your tattoo and explore your world. They would eventually be perfectly capable of communication and soon after that, capable of touching and moving things in our realm.

And, as time wears on without the factor of self forgiveness, a secure reason to stay in this world, and reconnection between you and your dragons, your body will slowly begin preparing to enter their realm as a spirit. You would essentially… decease. This has happened to nearly all relatives of yours who had reached out to the Shambali. I find it absolutely necessary to your survival that you finally come to terms with your problems.”

The omnic was met with silence. And Hanzo made his way out.

\---

By the time he had fully explained it to Genji and Angela it was already time for dinner. All that he asked was that the information was not disclosed to any of their teammates until he was on his last two weeks. That was, if he was to actually die. He left with both individuals sitting frozen too stunned to say or do anything.

That night, nothing would prevent Hanzo from drinking.


End file.
